Happiness Loves Its Company
by twenty3
Summary: A short story exploring how a relationship would start between Nick and Greg at the current time. What would it take for them to finally realize their feelings? It may be simpler than anyone thought.
1. Did I Let You Know

Warning for spoilers through the current season and adult content (slash) and language. I don't own anything, obviously.

I was just bored waiting for classes to start up again next week and had a craving to write another Nick/Greg story. This is going to be a short one, just a few chapters, but should be good and sweet nonetheless. Hope you enjoy, and as always reviews are always appreciated!

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><p>It was all innocent enough, it really was. Nothing was planned out, it just happened the way that it happened. After pulling yet another double, Greg had dragged himself to his car, only to find that it refused to start. The engine wouldn't even turn over. Battery was dead. He left his lights on. He never forgets to turn them off, but tonight, he did. He knew he wouldn't be able to jump it again; he had done so too many times and the last time the mechanic said not to even bother the next time, it wouldn't work. So he gets out of his car, slamming the door in frustration. He pulls out his iPhone, holding down the button and asking Siri the find the number for the nearest tow truck company. DB walks by, on the phone with one of his kids or his wife, and briefly holds the phone away from his mouth to ask Greg if he was okay.<p>

"Need a lift?" he asked.

Greg shook his head. "I'm fine, I'll just get a cab."

DB nodded once before returning to his phone call and walking away. Greg didn't blame him; if he had a family, he wouldn't go out of his way to prolong going home to them. Greg turned his attention back to his phone to see what the hell was taking so long to be met with a black screen. He held down the button to no avail. Another dead battery.

"This has to be a fucking joke," he said out loud as he seriously considered smashing the useless phone in his hand in the concrete below his feet.

Suddenly, another iPhone appeared in his view, in a hand unmistakably identified as that of Nick Stokes. "You alright G?" he asked with a small smile.

Greg sighed heavily. "Car won't start. Phone died. I need a drink.

Nick laughed. "Call a tow truck, get it out of here, and I'll help you with that drink problem."

Greg almost declined. He just wanted to go home, shower, have a few beers, and go to sleep. But there was something different in Nick's voice that he picked up on that told him Nick wanted to have a drink with Greg for his own sake, not just to help out a friend. He hadn't heard Nick sound like that in a long time, not really since Warrick had died. He was about to ask if Nick was alright when the older man handed his phone, which was already connected to the tow truck company.

"You don't have to wait with me," Greg said about ten minutes into them sitting up against the retaining wall in the parking garage waiting for the tow truck.

Nick shrugged. "Got nothing else to do," he answered simply enough. Greg decided not to push it because there was something up with Nick; he just couldn't quite put his finger on it yet.

The truck came about fifteen minutes later, and the pair were back at Nick's house within the hour. Greg collapsed on the couch while Nick went into the kitchen, bringing a six pack of beer back with him. He put it ont he coffee table, opened two bottles and handed Greg one silently. They sat there without saying anything for a very long time. They polished off the six pack relatively quickly, and not having eaten anything in quite some time Greg was already feeling a slight buzz. He let himself sink further into the couch as Nick got up again, this time returning with two six packs, putting one down in front of Greg and the other for himself.

Greg smiled widely and spoke for the first time since arriving at Nick's. "Got a brewery back there?" he asked.

Nick shook his head with a smile. "My brother was here last weekend. He went a little over board when I was at work. He doesn't get much time off and doesn't like to drink in front of his kids, so he took advantage here. Left me a lot behind, which I'm not complaining about."

"How many kids does he have?" Greg asked, taking advantage of the rare opportunity of Nick talking about his family.

"Three," Nick answered. "Three boys. Ryan's eleven, Carson's eight and Jason is four. They're more than a handful, I'm surprised he doesn't drink heavily when he's home."

Greg smiled. "I wish I had had a brother or a sister growing up. Being an only child sucked."

"Being the youngest of seven isn't all that great either," Nick replied. "But I'd rather it than no one I guess."

"Were you close with all of your siblings?" Greg asked.

Nick shook his head after finishing and opening another beer. "No, my two oldest sisters are older than me to the point where they were out of college and living in different states before I was even twelve. I barely know them at all. I was closest with my brother because we had to stick together against the three other girls. We all keep in touch as much as we can, but they're so busy with their families and work and everything that it's hard, ya know?"

Greg nodded, even though he didn't really know. They fell into a comfortable silence for the remainder of their fifth beer each, and upon being halfway through the sixth, Nick spoke again.

"Have you ever thought about quitting? Or leaving Vegas?" he asked so quietly that Greg barely heard him.

He was surprised by the question. He looked over at Nick, but the other man was staring down at the beer bottle in his hand that was resting on his thigh. "Yeah, I have," he answered honestly. "After the lab explosion I almost went back to California, and then after I got beat up I almost did again. Then Sarah left and Warrick died and Grissom left and then Ray..." he trailed off, knowing he didn't need to tell Nick how hard all of that had been.

"I wanted to leave a few times," Nick admitted, "but I didn't have anywhere to go. Going back home wouldn't solve anything, and starting over in a new city would have made me miss Vegas, which would have pissed me off because half the time I hate it here."

"Agreed," Greg responded. "I hate that I can't leave here."

Nick took a long drink from his bottle before finally looking over at Greg. "I probably would have left if you had," he said. Greg was so stunned by that statement that he didn't say anything. He just sat there in silence as Nick guzzled down the rest of his beer before continuing. "After Warrick died, I realized how often I took you for granted. You were always so willing to help in any way you could and I never appreciated what a good friend you really are. After everything that's happened, it just wouldn't be the same without you around. I wouldn't be able to handle it, you just make things easier I guess."

Having no idea what to say, Greg finished his beer as an excuse to break eye contact with Nick and try and stall to think of something to say, but he couldn't. He had always wanted to be buddy-buddy with Nick and Warrick, and for a time the three of them were fairly good friends, but when it came down to it, it was always Nick and Warrick as best friends. Not to mention the underlying fact that Greg had always wanted to be more than friends with Nick, but he had kept those feelings at bay for so long that he had gotten good at pretending they didn't exist at all. And he probably would have been able to continue pretending that they didn't exist if Nick hadn't kissed him when he turned back to face the older man.

After having described Nick's revelations as shocking and stunning, Greg was left with no possible explanation for how Nick kissing him rendered his mind. There were no words that existed to explain the shock, excitement, confusion, and joy that radiated through his body immediately. He had barely had time to fully register that Nick was kissing him before the other man pulled away enough to look into Greg's eyes, but close enough that the younger man could hear his heart racing in his chest.

"You're drunk," Greg said, unable to think of anything else.

Nick shook his head. "Not really. Not that drunk."

"What does that mean?" Greg asked. Nick didn't reply, he just swallowed hard and kept looking at Greg. "You didn't just kiss me because you're drunk?"

Nick shook his head slowly. "No. Not entirely. It gave me the balls to finally do it, but it didn't just pop into my head like 'hey I'm kinda drunk so let's make out with Greg' or anything like that."

Greg was still very, very confused. "What are you trying to say Nick?"

"I don't know," he answered lamely, but honestly. "It's never really made any sense to me. I've never been attracted to a guy before, never even thought about it. But there was just something about you, and I thought it was just your personality because you're a cool guy and everything, and then I kept catching myself checking you out and thinking about you..in that way..and I don't know. So yeah, I'm drunk because I never would have told you any of that if I were sober, but that doesn't mean I'm lying. I'm not lying."

"Are you saying you have feelings for me?" Greg asked, subconsciously hearing in his head an objection from an imaginary lawyer claiming he was leading the witness, but he didn't care because he needed to know.

Nick just stared at him for a very long time before slowly nodding in response. "Yes. I'm sorry, I know it must be fucked up for you to hear that but it's true and I have absolutely no idea why I decided to tell you, but I did. I know you flirt with everyone, but sometimes it felt like you were really flirting with me and I'm sorry if I took it wrong but I just-"

Nick's sentence was cutoff by Greg kissing him hard, and once the confusion wore off Nick responded readily. Before either of them had realized that it was happening, they fell off the couch onto the floor, with Nick on top of Greg, who was eagerly trying to change that fact. He was about to roll them over when Nick suddenly stood up, leaving Greg on the floor to stare up at him in confusion. Nick just shook his head silently before stepping over Greg and walking away, headed for his bedroom. But Greg quickly got up off of the floor and rushed past Nick, stopping him before he got to the bedroom door.

"What's wrong?" he asked nervously. Nick didn't say anything, he just looked at the floor. "You don't want to do this, do you," Greg stated more than asked. "You're drunker than you thought you were."

Nick shook his head. "That has nothing to do with it," he said, still looking down at the floor.

"Then what's it got to do with?" Greg asked.

Nick turned around to walk away again, but Greg grabbed his arm, keeping him in place. After a brief hesitation and a heavy sigh, Nick turned back to face Greg so quickly that the younger man wasn't prepared for Nick to kiss him again, or pin him up against the wall in doing so. Greg was immensely confused, but couldn't bring himself to care about that at the moment because Nick's tongue was in his mouth and their bodies were pressed up so tight against one another. And then suddenly, Greg wasn't against the wall anymore. Nick had backed up, pulling him away, and steered him towards the bed. They were still locked in a heated kiss when the back of Greg's knee his the edge of Nick's bed and he fell backwards, pulling the other man down on top of him by holding onto his belt. Nick quickly removed his own shirt before getting rid of Greg's. His hands moved down Greg's slim, toned body and came to rest at the spot where Greg's skin ended and boxers began. That's when Greg noticed the older man's hands were shaking.

This time it was Greg who pulled away and broke the kiss. He looked up at Nick, but he was looking down at his hands. Greg followed his eyes to confirm that Nick's hands were in fact shaking, so he covered them with his own in an attempt to get them to stop.

"It's okay if you don't want to do this," Greg said softly. "You're drunk, and you'll regret it after. I understand."

Nick shook his head almost as soon as Greg had started speaking. "You're wrong," he replied. "I want to do this, I have for a while. I just..." he trailed off, not knowing how to explain it.

Greg sat up slowly, allowing Nick to shift his position and sit on the bed next to him. "What's wrong?" Greg asked again, trying to look Nick in the eye but the other man wouldn't allow it. Not knowing what else to do, Greg started to move to get off the bed, but Nick grabbed his hand.

"I've never done this before," Nick said quietly as he slowly looked up to meet Greg's eyes. "Not with a guy. I have no idea what I'm doing because it's so different. In a good way, but still different. I don't know. I'm just really nervous because I..." he trailed off again and averted his eyes away from Greg's. "I don't want it to suck, for you, because I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I have no idea what to do. Have you done this before?" he asked.

Greg nodded slowly. "Yeah, a few times. Mostly in college."

Nick swallowed. "Do you, I mean like were you..."

"Did I take it or give it?" Greg asked with a small laugh, noting how cute it was that Nick was so shy about the subject.

Nick laughed nervously. "Yeah, I didn't know how else to put it but yeah, that's what I mean. I don't want you to have to do something you don't want to do, ya know? I clearly have no idea."

"I've done both," Greg answered. "But you can do..what you normally do, with women..so it won't be too weird for you or anything."

Nick sighed. "It's not like it's weird because you're a guy, I'm not like grossed out or anything, it's just different. I've never been attracted to another guy before, and there was just always something about you. I really want to do this, I swear, I guess I just don't know how," he said, laughing lamely.

Greg smiled. "It's okay," he said, squeezing Nick's hand reassuringly. "We don't have to do this now. We can take our time and work up to it and wait until you're comfortable and sure that it's what you really want to do."

"I know it's what I want," Nick replied. "You're what I want. This isn't just about sex Greg, I have feelings for you beyond that. I never really understood them, but I guess it doesn't matter because it won't change them. I don't understand why you're the only guy I've ever been attracted to in anyway, but I don't care why because I know I definitely do. I want to be with you, in every way, and if you don't feel the same I completely understand and I'm sorry to throw this all at you at once but I know you need to know before you decide to do anything with me."

Greg slowly leaned forward and kissed Nick softly, effectively calming the Texan's nerves and relaxing him slightly. When Greg pulled back, he was smiling widely. "I've wanted to be with you for so long that I was able to convince myself not to even think about how I felt and pretend that we were just friends so I wouldn't mess anything up. I went out of my way to talk about girls to you so that you wouldn't know and we would have something to bond over, ya know?"

Nick laughed. "That's funny because I was going to ask out that teacher, who turned out to be a stripper, just so that you couldn't. But then I didn't want to be a jerk and have you hate me so I didn't because I wanted you to be happy."

"She wasn't a stripper man, and you can't really say anything considering you slept with a hooker."

Nick smiled. "That's when I first started realizing I liked you more than a friend."

Greg frowned. "When? After you slept with Kristy?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah. I went in to thank you for helping out, you helped Catherine keep me out of jail. I went in and thanked you and left really confused because you looked..jealous."

"I was," Greg said with a laugh. "But didn't think you'd notice. You noticed that?"

"Yeah, I did, and I was confused because I liked that you were jealous and I had no idea why. I thought it was just because I had bragging rights or something, but I knew that wasn't it. I kind of just ignored it for as long as I could, and I can't anymore. None of the women I've been with ever made me feel like you do, and we've just been friends for the last fifteen or however many years."

Greg shook his head slowly. "I never thought in a million years that this would ever happen."

Nick laughed. "Me either, but I'm glad it did."

"Me too," Greg said, smiling as well.

Suddenly both very tired, the pair laid down against the soft pillows, sighing contently, hands still intertwined. They both let their tired eyes close, not needing to say anything else at the moment. Everything that initially needed to be said had been voiced, and when they woke up they could continue to discuss whatever they felt needed to be discussed. For now, they were both happy drifting off to sleep, together, not having to worry about anything else for a change.


	2. Strip My Mind

Greg was unable to fall into as deep of a sleep as Nick did. He awoke completely after only a few shorts hours and was so nervous that Nick would wake up, not remember anything and freak out that Greg was not only in his bed, but holding his hand. So he lay there completely still, not moving or making a sound. It was too good to be true, and he didn't want it to end. He was afraid that Nick would regret everything when he woke up or say it was just because he was drunk and flee from the room, so Greg was in no rush to wake the sleeping Texan. Plus, he had looked so tired earlier and clearly needed the rest.

Despite Greg's seemingly fool proof plan, Nick began to stir only twenty or so minutes after Greg had woken up. The ex-lab rat felt his heart begin to race as Nick slowly started waking up. He tried to move his left hand, which was still holding Greg's, and when he was unable to do so he finally opened his eyes in tired confusion. He rubbed his eyes with his free right hand before finally looking over at Greg.

"So it wasn't a dream," he said, his accent heavy and laced with sleep. Greg shook his head slowly and remained silent. After a short period of silence, Nick smiled. "Good," he said before sitting up slowly, pulling Greg up with him.

The older man pulled Greg into a tight hug, taking in the intoxicating scent that made up Greg. It was a unique mix of expensive coffee, expensive hair products, and multiple other scents that Nick couldn't quite place at the time as figuring each one out wasn't his top priority at the moment. His main focus was on the tension he could feel in each and every one of Greg's muscles.

Nick broke the embrace and looked at Greg with concern. "Are you okay?" he asked. "It seems like something's wrong."

Greg shook his head slowly. "No, I'm fine. I was just uh..."

"You were worried I wouldn't remember," Nick replied. Greg tore his eyes away from Nick's. "Or that I would change my mind." Greg's only answer was embarrassed silence. "Hey," Nick said softly as he pulled Greg's chin gently so he could look him in the eyes again. "I meant everything that I said. I'll say it all again, right now, completely sober. I want to be with you, in every way. I have feelings for you, and nothing is going to change that. I'm sorry it took a bad case and getting drunk to finally tell you, but I'm not exactly experienced in this kind of situation. I've never even been in love with one of my friends before, nevermind one of my guy friends."

Greg's jaw dropped at Nick's last statement. "You didn't say that last night," he said quietly. "That last part."

Nick felt his heart jump into his throat. He swallowed hard to try and get the lump to go away, but it didn't. "Oh," he replied lamely, "yeah, I guess I didn't. But...it's true. I'm in love with you Greg."

Greg stared at Nick for what seemed like forever. Their eyes were locked, unable to look away. Greg saw the sincerity in Nick's eyes, and at first, that really scared him. Because he felt the same way, but never thought that Nick ever would. He never thought that this could ever happen, and now it was, and it was scaring him. It scared him how happy he was because he had never been that happy before and was afraid it wasn't real. But as he looked at Nick, he could tell in the other man's dark brown eyes that it was real.

Nick was starting to become nervous himself because Greg wasn't saying or doing anything; he was just sitting there, staring back at him. Nick's eyes were locked on Greg's and he was unable to look away because he keenly trying to read the other man's expression, but was so nervous about what was going to happen next that he couldn't focus on getting a good read from Greg. But the younger man soon took care of that. He quickly closed the small gap between him and Nick, pressing his lips against the Texan's with such passionate force that Nick fell back against the bed. Greg continued to fall forward against him, their chests pressed together as the younger man deepened the kiss. Nick was so taken aback by Greg's delayed reaction that he didn't know if the other man was kissing him out of happiness or to simply shut Nick up. His question was soon answered.

Greg finally stopped assualting Nick's mouth and pulled back, both men breathing hard. He looked down at the older man beneath him for a few seconds before saying, "I'm in love with you too."

Nick blinked once, stunned by the events that were unfolding. "You are?" he asked.

Greg nodded. "Why else would I have been so worried that you were going to forget or regret what happened last night?"

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just thought you kinda liked me and wanted to hook up with me."

"As true as that is," Greg said with a smile, "I more than kind of like you. I've always more than kind of liked you. And although I very much want to hook up with you because I'm very attracted to you physically, it's the emotional aspect of you that I love the most. It's not just lust. I love you too Nick."

"Okay," Nick said quietly. "So we're in love with each other."

Greg's smile grew wider. "Looks that way."

Nick smiled as well, but not as wide as Greg. "So what do we do about that?"

Greg shrugged slightly. "What do you want to do about it?"

"I have no idea," Nick answered honestly. "I mean, I know I want to be with you and all that. There's no question there. I just don't exactly know how to do that I guess."

"Are you sure?" Greg asked. "You seem like you're-"

"Freaking out?" Nick said, finishing Greg's sentence for him. "I am. The one thing I've wanted for so long that I lost track of how long I've wanted it is suddenly possible after I never thought it would be. So yeah, I am freaking out, but in the best possible way. Because I'm excited and anxious. I want this Greg, I want you."

"Okay," Greg said with a nod, "that's good because I want to be with you too. But I can tell you're nervous."

"You're a great CSI G," Nick said with a shy smile.

"Yeah, I try," Greg replied with a small laugh. "But I understand why you're so nervous. You've never done this before, with a guy."

"Were you nervous your first time with a guy?" Nick asked.

"Yes, very, but oddly enough I did the exact same thing you tried to do except I succeeded. I got extremely drunk and just did it, got it over with as quickly as possible so that I wouldn't have to think about how nervous I was. I felt stupid for being scared so I just went for it. Can't say that it was a good idea."

"Who was he?"

Greg was surprised Nick was so interested, but glad to be finally talking about it with someone. Nobody knew any of this. "My roommate in college, his best friend. Sean, my roommate, was spending the night in his girlfriend's room. Jason came over looking for him and somehow that lead to us hooking up. I never saw him much again after that; he made sure to stay away from our room if he thought I was going to be there. I never told Sean, hell I never told anyone. And then from there I hooked up with a few more guys, always decently drunk when doing so."

"When's the last time you were with a guy?"

"Before I met you."

Nick frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I've never dated a guy before, only hooked up with a few on occassion. Five total, I think, four of which were in college. When I was working in California, I hooked up with number five before I moved and when I got to Vegas I didn't know if I was gay or bi or what so I assumed I would just figure it out. No place better to experiment than Vegas, right? And then I started working at the lab and met you and that was it. I couldn't be with any other guy because I wanted it to be you, so I stuck to women, and you know how well that all went."

Nick nodded slowly and was about to ask something else when Greg continued. "So I understand that you're nervous, I really do, and I don't want you to have to go through what I did. I completely regret the fact that I got drunk out of my mind and hooked up with Jason that night because it was an awful feeling. I was scared and being drunk didn't help, it made it worse. It made me rush into things I wasn't ready for, and there's no way in hell I'm going to let that happen to you. You're not ready to have sex with me, and I'm totally fine with that. You're not ready to do much of anything physically, and I don't care. I don't want to rush anything, it's not fair to you."

"Well it's not fair to you either," Nick replied. "I don't know what to do, so it's going to suck for you for awhile. That's not fair that as a grown man you're going to have to deal with someone who is completely sexually inept."

Greg couldn't help but laugh at that. "Nick, if you were to ask anyone that knows you if they thought you were capable of being sexually inept, they would laugh in your face. Everyone looks at you and immediately thinks 'damn, he must be great in bed.' "

Nick scoffed. "You're ridiculous," he said with a laugh. "Nobody thinks that, other than you apparently. And it's not true in this case. Technically I'm a virgin in this sense, as far as it concerns us."

"Okay, fine," Greg agreed reluctantly, "but that doesn't mean anything I do with you is going to suck. Nothing about you sucks Nick. I'm okay with taking the physical part of this slow until you're ready for everything. To be honest, I haven't been with a guy in a while so I'm a little nervous too, especially because it's you and I've wanted this for so long. But I want the emotional part of you even more than the physical part, which for a while I thought was impossible but it's true. I don't care if we never have sex, as long as we're together."

Nick laughed. "Let's not go that far," he said.

Greg smiled as he took Nick's hand into his. "I don't care how long it takes as long as it's right."

"For the both of us," Nick added.

Greg nodded. "Absolutely. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something before you're ready because I know what that's like and I would never want to do anything like that to you."

Nick leaned in and kissed Greg sweetly. "Well that's very kind of you," he said softly before kissing Greg again.

The younger man smiled into the kissed and slowly leaned back, enticing Nick to fall forward until he was laying on top of him on the bed. "You're good with making out, right?" Greg teased with a smile as he ran his hands through Nick's soft hair.

The Texan smiled widely. "Yeah, I think I can get on board with that."

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><p>Sorry for the insane lapse between chapters; I wanted to get this up before classes started and then they snuck up on me and I totally forgot. Not sure if I'm going to continue with this or leave it here and would love to hear what you think so let me know! As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!<p> 


	3. Where My Mouth Is

Warning for language and adult content. Enjoy!

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><p>"Maybe we weren't so in love with each other after all."<p>

That comment made Nick finish off the rest of his beer. As he guzzled down the remainder of the foamy liquid, he wondered what was worse; the content of what had just been said, or the way that it had been said. It was uttered in such a matter of fact, nonchalant way that made it sound as if it were a natural known fact to the entire world. It wasn't meant as an instigator for a fight; it was meant as an insightful comment that held truth when everything else around them seemed to be filled with lies. But Nick knew that wasn't the case, it just seemed like everything was falling apart. He didn't even know what exactly was falling apart. It just was.

He didn't turn around from his seat on the couch to face the kitchen and look at Greg. He just continued to sit there, staring down at the floor, completely unsure of what to do next. How was he supposed to respond to what Greg had just said? It wasn't like they were in the middle of a fight. There was no flow of an argument, just a statement made from one party to another. Nick had been sitting on the couch when Greg had woken up. The younger man silently walked into the kitchen and began making coffee and had been in there for close to ten minutes before he had spoken. No good morning, no offer of coffee or food, just that statement that was now hanging in the silence like another dead body at one of their crime scenes.

"What makes you say that?" Nick asked quietly; so quietly that he doubted Greg heard him, and if he did he wasn't expecting a response anyway.

Truth be told, they fought fairly often. They had been together for almost three months now, and it was unlike any other relationship either of them had been in because neither of them had ever been in a relationship with another guy before. They were both used to dating women, who were mainly needy and clingy, but they knew how to deal with that. They knew how to focus on the needs of someone else and just shut themselves out of the relationship, which is usually why it ended. But now they were doing it to each other. They were trying to take care of each other, but neither one of them admitted that they needed to be taken care of and that caused conflict of masculinity. They weren't sure how to go about being with one another.

So much of their relationship was based around the fact that it had been built on a friendship. Most of the time they would just hang out after work; go to the movies, dinner, watch a sports game, have some drinks. They had fun with each other and really enjoyed each others company. They were good at just hanging out and being around one another, for the most part. A lot of times their hangouts would be cut short by one of them pouncing on the other for a heated kiss that always lead to things being brought to the bedroom. It hadn't taken Nick that long to get accustomed to having a sexual relationship with a man. Greg was a good teacher; he took the lead on the physical aspects, doing everything to Nick multiple times before Nick ever did anything to him. Not that Greg minded in the least.

And then Nick was comfortable reciprocating the physical part to Greg and much to his own surprise, he was a fast learner. The fact that he wanted it to be as good as possible for Greg was a huge factor in what Greg called his beginner success. After that, their sexual relationship quickly escalated and became a big part of their overall relationship. Working the same job, they both understood the toll that it took on them emotionally and physically and knew that relieving that stress with someone you cared about was always a good idea, so they took advantage of that. Nick stuck to what he knew how to do, being that he had only ever been with women, and Greg was, for lack of a better term, the receiver. Again, not that he minded in the least.

The problem wasn't caused by sexual frustration, but by emotional frustration. They were both used to being the man in the relationship who dealt with the women's emotions and needs. Now they were in a relationship with another man, and that got in the way of what they were used to doing. They fought like guy friends would fight and argue with one another, but to another degree because they were also sleeping with each other and spending more time together than just friends.

"The fact that it's true is why I said it," Greg replied so many moments later that Nick had forgotten what they were talking about.

Nick shook his head slowly. "It's not true," he said when he remembered what Greg had been referring to. "I do love you."

In lieu of a verbal response, Greg responded by walking into the living room and sitting on the coffee table in front of Nick, forcing him to look up at him. The two men just sat there, starting at one another, until Greg finally decided to respond. "Why?" he asked.

"Why what?"

"Why do you love me?"

Nick sighed. "I don't know," he answered honestly.

"Because you don't," Greg said harshly. "This was all about lust Nick, not love. You have no idea why you love me, no reason for it, so it can't be true."

"Yes it can," Nick retorted. "I don't understand why I'm in love with you, but that doesn't mean it's not true. There's a lot I don't understand, but it unfortunately doesn't make any of it false. This was never about lust, not for me. Maybe it was for you."

Greg scoffed. "Yeah, it was only about that," he said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "That's why I waited weeks for you to man up and finally fuck me," he added coldly, and immediately regretted saying that when he saw the hurt look on Nick's face.

Nick hung his head to avoid Greg's eyes. "I'm sorry you don't feel the same way about me that I do about you," he said softly.

"Neither one of us are in love Nick," Greg argued. "We fight all the time. We're fighting now. What makes you think you were ever in love?"

"Because I've never felt this way about anyone before," Nick replied, looking up. "I've never been so comfortable around someone or been able to trust anyone so easily. Our job sucks. Every single day we see people having the worst day of their lives and extrapolating that over fifteen years burns you out fast. But when I see you, when I'm with you, none of that matters. I just feel better, about everything."

"That's not love," Greg said.

Nick sighed in frustration. "Fine," he said in a defeated tone as he stood from the couch and tried to walk away, but Greg stood up and pushed him back down onto the couch.

"This is the most fucked up relationship I've ever been in," the younger man said as he towered over the sitting Texan.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Because it's the only real relationship you've ever been in, you have nothing to compare it to."

"You call this real?" Greg asked, the tone in his voice suddenly shifting from aggressive to weak.

All Nick could do was silently stare up at the man standing in front of him. True, it wasn't like any relationship he had ever been in because they weren't overtly dependent on one another. They understood what the other was feeling without having to talk about it, so they didn't. They knew how to make each other feel better without having to ask, so they just did it. They also knew how to piss each other off, which they also utilized in order to incite a reaction out of the other to feel some sense of control in a world that they both knew lacked order. They didn't do everything they had always done in relationships; they didn't cuddle every night when they went to sleep. Sometimes, you just want your own space to sleep and get a good rest, which they both understood and took advantage of often. That didn't mean they never touched each other unless they were having sex, it just meant that they didn't have to be all over each other every waking moment. Giving each other space over the last three months was one of the reasons they hadn't ended it. Yet.

"Yeah, I do," Nick said as he tried to stand up again, but Greg pushed him back down, more forcefully this time. However, Nick decided to take Greg with him. As he fell back, he grabbed Greg by the waist and pulled the younger man against him so when Nick landed on the couch, Greg fell against him so he had no choice but to straddle Nick's hips.

Greg grunted in frustration at Nick's actions. "Let me go," he said as he tried to stand up, but was held in place by Nick's strong arms.

"No," Nick replied simply, shaking his head slowly. "I'm not letting go of you."

Greg saw the sincerity in Nick's eyes and knew he was talking about more than just their current seating situation. Without any more physical or emotional strength to keep struggling against the stronger man, Greg sighed slightly and settled against his boyfriend. He rested his hands on Nick's arms, which were still wrapped securely around his slim waist.

"I don't know why I love you either," Greg said, diverting his eyes from Nick's.

"But you do," Nick added.

Greg nodded. "Of course I do. I never would have told you that I did if it hadn't been true."

"Then why did you say-"

"Because I'm scared," Greg said, cutting Nick off because he knew what the other man was going to ask and didn't want to be reminded of what he had said in order to begin this fight. "I'm scared because this is actually something real, and that means that it has the potential to ruin both of us. We can ruin each other if we really wanted to Nick."

"I know that," Nick agreed. "When you love someone, you're giving them the power to completely destroy you, but you give them that power because you trust them not to."

Greg shook his head. "It's not you I'm worried about. I know you're not going to hurt me, especially not intentionally. But what about our jobs? We both do the same thing so there's no escape from it for either of us when we leave the lab or a scene. Not to mention how dangerous it is. Between the two of us, we've almost died, what, like five times? At least. We can get killed at any second of any day. Our jobs can crush us."

"So you just want to give up without ever even trying?" Nick asked. "You're so afraid of getting hurt that you don't allow yourself to get close to anyone because you're afraid of what might happen."

Greg's frustration from before returned, and he again tried to escape from Nick's grasp by pushing against the other man's chest. "Says the asshole who fucked a hooker and then left her to get killed by her pimp."

Greg didn't need to struggle against Nick anymore because the Texan decided he didn't want to be that close to Greg anymore and stood up suddenly, pushing forcefully against Greg's hips and sending him backwards. Greg's legs freed themselves from Nick's hips and fell to the floor, but not in time to support his weight and before he realized it he was falling backwards over the coffee table. He landed hard on his back, almost hitting his head against the television stand. Not having meant to throw him that far, Nick immediately moved to help him up, but Greg quickly sprang to his feet, much to Nick's surprise. The older man was caught off guard and was therefore unable to react quickly enough when Greg came at him.

Greg launched himself upwards at Nick, catching him by the shoulders and easily moving him backwards until he slammed him up against the nearby wall by the doorway. Nick was so stunned that he didn't try to stop Greg from moving him and crashed into the wall, his head snapping back and allowing Greg to hold him flush against the wall, using his entire body to keep him in place.

"Get off me Greg," Nick said breathlessly.

"No," Greg retorted, mocking Nick's tone and answer from before. "I bet if I were some slut you'd love that I was all over you right now. That's why this isn't working between us, you just want to fuck one slut after another. Tell me, how much did you pay her? Was she worth it?"

"Fuck you Greg," Nick spat.

Greg scoffed. "I wouldn't call what you do to me fucking there cowboy."

Nick channeled all of his anger into his back and shoulders and forced himself away from the wall, pushing Greg back and maneuvering him quickly before he had time to react. Now it was Greg who was pinned, this time against the wall. Nick had his hands on Greg's biceps, holding him in place, their hips and chests still pressed against one another.

"If it's so god damn awful for you why don't you go find someone else to fuck? Or are you sick of no one other than school teachers slash burlesque dancers ever even giving you the time of day?"

Greg ripped his arms away from Nick's hands and shoved him hard, but the other man barely budged. He moved back a half a step, and then reclaimed his position forcing Greg against the wall and kept his hands pinned down by his side. Greg looked down at the other mans clenched fists and then looked up at him with a smirk.

"What are you gonna do Nick? Hit me?" he said in a low, taunting voice. "Go ahead," he hissed, grabbing Nick by the belt loops on his jeans and pulling him closer just to piss him off more. "Hit me."

Nick's jaw was set and his eyes were the darkest brown Greg had ever seen them; darker than anytime they had been when they had had sex, darker than any case had made them get, darker than when Warrick had died.

Greg ground his hips into Nick's, just to be a jerk. "I can take a hit, do it. I'm not one of your stupid little bitches."

"You sure know how to lay there and take it like a bitch," Nick shot back.

Greg let go of his grip on Nick's jeans and raised his hands to push Nick away, but the other man was faster. He seized Greg's wrists and forced his arms back, pinning them up against the door on either side of Greg's head.

"What the fuck do you want from me Nick?" Greg exclaimed, all of his frustrations being expressed all at once.

"I don't want anything from you," Nick replied, dropping Greg's wrists and stepping back away from him. "You don't have to give me anything. Go fuck someone else, everyone else, I don't care. I don't need anything from you because you've already given me so much, you have no idea. Just you is enough. I don't want anything from you Greg, I just want you."

Nick took another step back to turn and walk away, but Greg reached out and grabbed him by the shirt, holding him in place. "I'm afraid you're going to get sick of me," Greg blurted, trying to explain his behavior away in one sentence. "I don't want you to wake up one day, roll over, see me laying next to you and realize you made a mistake. I want this to last, but I'm not sure exactly how to do that and I know you're not sure either. I'll give you whatever you want, just tell me. I want to save you Nick, but I need you to save me too."

"You have to let me," Nick said softly. "I know you're scared, I'm scared too. But I know we can figure this out if we do it together. It's not going to be easy, we're going to fight. We've known each other for so long and have been through so much that it's inevitable."

Greg sighed and released Nick's shirt. "I know. I was just trying to push you away before you decided to leave on your own."

Nick stepped back towards Greg and pulled him closer gently by his waist. "I'm not going anywhere," he said softly before he leaned in and kissed Greg.

Greg smiled into the kiss and pulled himself flush against Nick using the other man's shoulders for leverage. "That's good," he said against Nick's lips, "because I really would rather not have to fuck anyone else."


	4. Close Range

Nick couldn't recall any other time in his life that he had been nervous to see his older brother or sister. Chase and Ashley were both older than Nick and were the closest in age to him out of his six siblings. Chase was five years older than him, while Ashley was only a little over a year his elder. His other siblings were all older than him to the extent that he hardly knew them at all; most of them had gone off to college or even gotten married before the time he was older enough to form a relationship with them. Nick and Chase being the only male siblings had instantly bonded them against their five sisters, and the closeness in age between Nick and Ashley had served in a positive manner rather than a negative one, as is sometimes the case with opposite sex siblings.

Nick had thought he had chosen a good booth at the diner so that he would be able to see his brother and sister approach when they arrived so that he would be able to prepare for this, but once again he had under estimated his siblings and was caught off guard when his brother snuck up from behind him from the other direction and grabbed him by the shoulders, causing his younger brother to jump nearly out of his seat.

"A little jumpy there Nick?" Chase asked with a laugh when Nick turned to look up at him.

Nick couldn't help but smile. "I wasn't expecting a sneak attack," he explained as he stood up to hug his brother and sister.

Chase and Ashley took their seats across from Nick and put in their order for coffee before turning back to their other sibling. "So why the old style sit down?" Ashley asked.

Ashley and Chase had both moved out to Vegas recently due to career changes and wanting to be closer to family than when they had lived in California and Arizona, respectively. They weren't as close with their other siblings either and had wanted a change of scenery. Chase was a doctor and Ashley an English professor at UNLV, so the three of them had extremely busy lives and despite living in the same city, they still didn't get to see each other as often as they would have liked.

"I uh, have something to tell you guys," Nick said, looking down into his coffee cup, obviously avoiding their eyes.

"What's wrong?" Chase asked, picking up on the unusual tone of Nick's voice. When he didn't reply, Chase and Ashley exchanged worried glances before the oldest Stokes present spoke again. "You're making me nervous Nick, what's going on?"

Nick took a deep breath and looked back up at his brother and sister. "I wanted to tell you guys that I've been seeing someone."

Ashley let out a sigh of relief. "Jesus Nick, why did you make it sound like it was something bad? Your voice hasn't sounded like that since you told me Warrick died."

Nick cringed at that memory, but was able to brush it off to handle the matter at hand. "Well, it's not exactly what you think."

"Who is she?" Chase asked.

"That's the thing," Nick said with a sigh. "It's not a she."

Ashley and Chase yet again exchanged confused glances before looking back at their brother to see that he was completely serious, and apparently extremely nervous. "What are you talking about?" Ashley asked.

"I'm dating a guy," Nick said simply, surprised at how easily he was able to get that sentence out. "I'm dating Greg Sanders," he added for as much of his own edification as theirs.

"Is that the Greg you work with?" Ashley asked, taking the new information in stride. Nick was shocked at how she didn't seem to be affected by what he had just said, but couldn't say the same about Chase.

Nick nodded. "Yeah."

"How did that happen?" Ashley questioned.

"I don't really know," Nick said with a shrug. "I've been attracted to him for a while, but never really understood it because I've never felt that way about a guy before so I didn't know what to do, which is why I didn't do anything about it for a while. Until almost four months ago. He needed a ride and then ended up coming over to my place and we had a few beers and I told him how I felt, and he felt the same way. And then we just kind of went from there I guess."

"Wait," Ashley interjected before Nick could have continued. "You've been with him for four months, and are just telling us this now?"

Nick sighed. "I didn't know where it was going to go. We fought a lot in the beginning because it was so different for the both of us, but it's been going really well these last few weeks. I don't know why, but it just works somehow. I didn't want to tell you guys before I knew if it was actually going to be serious or not. I wanted it to be, but didn't know for sure how it would pan out. Plus, I was afraid of how you would react," he added, looking over at Chase, who hadn't spoken since Nick told him about Greg.

"Because you're gay," Chase stated, to which Nick just stared at him blankly. "You didn't want to tell us that you're gay."

Nick nodded slowly. "I didn't know how you would take it," he tried to explain.

"Did you think we'd be upset?" Ashley asked.

"I honestly don't know," Nick replied. "I didn't know what the hell I thought about it, never mind what you guys would think. But now I'm really happy with it, I'm happy with him. It's hard to explain why, and I guess I thought that since I can't explain it well that you guys might not understand and-"

"That we would be mad," Chase said, cutting Nick off. The younger of the brothers nodded weakly. "Well, I am mad. This is fucked up Nick," he said, making Nick's heart drop heavily.

"Chase!" Ashley exclaimed, turning to glare at her eldest brother. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Chase ignored the fact that Ashley had even spoken. "How could you think that we would be mad that you're gay?"

Nick stared back at Chase in confusion for a few moments before replying. "Because you are mad," he said dumbly.

"Because you thought I was going to be before you even told me anything," Chase retorted, only adding to Nick's confusion. When nobody said anything, Chase continued. "I don't care that you're gay Nick. I mean, I care because you're my brother, but I don't care in the way that it bothers me. I'm not mad that you're gay. I'll admit that I'm very surprised by this, but not in a bad way. I don't care who you're dating or whether it's a man or a woman as long as you're happy and its a healthy relationship."

"Same goes for me," Ashley added before Nick could think of a response to what Chase had just said. "It doesn't matter to us Nick, and you should have never had to worry about our reaction. We love you, you're our little brother. Nothing you can do will ever change the way that we feel about you."

"I just, I don't know," Nick replied, unable to explain what he was thinking and how he was feeling. "I don't understand my feelings for Greg, it doesn't really make much sense to me. I've had closer guy friends than him before that I never developed emotional or..sexual..feelings for, but with him it's just different. He can make me feel better even after the worst cases and he doesn't even have to do anything other than hang out with me. It's hard to understand, so it's hard to explain, which makes it hard to predict when it's just between the two of us, never mind telling anyone else."

"No one else knows?" Ashley asked.

Nick shook his head. "We wanted to keep it a secret in the beginning so that there wouldn't be any added drama or stress from people knowing, especially the people at work. One of us might have to change shifts depending on what our boss feels like doing. It's policy, but we have a feeling he won't want to break up the team. We're not sure yet, that's why we're playing it by ear and telling people one at a time. I'm telling you guys today, and Greg is telling our friend and co-worker Sara because she's worked with us the longest and will be the most understanding."

"You said you guys fought a lot in the beginning," Chase said, to which Nick nodded. "Why?"

"Neither one of us had ever dated a guy before," Nick answered. "We were both used to being the man in the relationship and taking care of someone else, so when we tried to do it to each other it pissed us off and then we would pick fights with one another after a tough day at work just to incite some sort of emotional reaction. We were both scared it wasn't going to work out, so we tried to sabotage it before it even became anything. Then we realized what we were doing and decided to smarten up and just let whatever is going to happen, happen. We've been basically fine ever since."

"Do you, like, punch each other?" Ashley asked.

Nick laughed slightly. "No, it didn't turn into an all out brawl, but it almost did. I shoved him pretty hard and he fell over the coffee table, then he got up and threw me into a wall. I threw him into a door, we yelled at each other, and in doing so were able to work it out. We don't beat each other up, but our fights are a lot different than any I've ever had with a woman. Greg's insults are a lot more clever and hard hitting," he said with another small laugh.

"I'm sure you hold your own," Chase surmised, knowing from personal experience of sibling fights that Nick can be verbally abusive if he really wants to be. "But you're happy?" he asked.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, I really am. It's different and took some getting used to, but I can honestly say it's the best relationship I've ever been in. I know I don't have all that much to go off of, but it's true. It's just hard sometimes because it doesn't make much sense to me and that makes me feel bad, but he really can't explain it either so it kind of balances out."

Ashley laughed slightly. "Okay, so when do we meet him?" she asked.

"Uh," Nick stammered, taken aback by the question and unable to answer in a timely fashion.

"Did you think we weren't going to meet our brother's boyfriend?" Chase asked, unable to hold back a smile at how odd that sounded to him saying it out loud.

Nick shrugged. "No, I guess I just didn't think that far ahead. I was so worried about what you guys were going to think that I didn't think much past telling you about Greg."

"Well," Chase said after taking a sip of his now lukewarm coffee."We want to meet him."

"Sooner rather than later," Ashley added. "I'm way too curious to wait too long to meet this guy."

Nick couldn't help but smile at how well this had ended up going, and could only hope that the same was holding true for Greg. 

"So where is he?"

That was not the response Greg was expecting. He wasn't sure exactly what kind of a reaction he was expecting, but that wasn't it. "Where is who?" he asked.

"Nick," Sara replied. "Isn't he about to jump out from somewhere and laugh at how I fell for this?"

Greg shook his head slowly. "No," he replied. "This isn't a joke Sara. Nick and I are dating, we have been for four months. And I wanted you to hear it from me first before you found out some other way."

"Greg, I'm sorry," Sara said when she heard the sincerity in his voice. "I didn't mean to be rude, it's just hard to believe at first I guess. You and Nick have always been such ladies men, it's just a surprise that you would end up with each other."

Greg smiled in agreement. "Yeah, neither one of us expected it either. I just kind of happened after it had been built up for a while. It was hard at first, we fought all the time, but I think that ended up helping us because it made us get used to each other faster and used to a different kind of relationship."

"Have either one of you been with another man before?" Sara asked, knowing that her and Greg were close enough friends that they could talk about this in detail, which is what she suspected Greg wanted to do anyway.

"I've hooked up with a couple before, but nothing serious ever came of it. And Nick's never been with a guy before, in any capacity. Part of the reason we fought so much was because he was nervous about doing anything sexual at first and I'd use that against him. I understood and didn't care, but he'd piss me off so I'd use it because I knew it would piss him off more."

Sara laughed. "You two bickered enough before, I can't imagine the fights you've had now that you've had sex with each other." She stopped abruptly and looked at Greg with wide eyes. "Oh my god, you've had sex with Nick."

"Yeah," Greg said with a laugh.

"Lucky," Sara said under her breath before she realized she was about to say it. She felt her cheeks flush and tried to hold back her smile, but couldn't when she saw that Greg was laughing at her. "But that's neither here nor there. So, everything is going well with you two?"

Greg nodded. "Yeah, it is. We've gotten past the fact that neither one of us completely understands what created our feelings for each other and just accept them because we're happy, and it's working."

"Well that's good, I'm glad," Sara said with a smile. "And I can't wait to see him and tease him mercilessly," she added with an even wider smile.


	5. Bend and Not Break

Sorry for the time it took to upload this chapter, hope it was worth the wait!

Warning for mild sexual content.

* * *

><p>Nick awoke with a start that was so violent that it shook Greg awake as well. He shot up to a sitting position, and upon doing so brought Greg up halfway with him before the younger man, who had been asleep on his shoulder, slid off and crashed back against the pillows. Greg's eyes snapped open and his heart started racing at the abrupt awakening. When his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and he noticed that Nick wasn't laying on the pillows next to him, his shock was replaced by confusion. He maneuvered himself so he was laying on his back, and after rubbing his still tired eyes he noticed that Nick was sitting upright and breathing heavily. Suppressing a yawn, Greg sat up next to Nick and put his hand on the small of the older man's back. He could feel how hot Nick was and was beginning to worry that he was coming down with something.<p>

"What's wrong?" Greg asked quietly, his voice laced with sleep.

Nick's eyes were closed as he was trying to slow his breathing and racing heart. After a few moments, he was able to catch his breath and slowly opened his eyes. When he became aware of his surroundings and finally realized where he was, he swallowed hard and looked over at Greg.

"Nothing," he replied lamely after what seemed like an eternity had passed since Greg had asked the question in the first place.

Greg smiled slightly to try and ease the building tension. "It doesn't seem like nothing. Did you have a nightmare?"

"I guess so," Nick said with a sigh. "I can never remember them most of the time. I just wake up out of breath and don't know where I am or what's happening. I must have nightmares about being kidnapped because it feels the exact same way it did when I first woke up in the box. My head is killing me and my chest is so tight...I'm always just as confused as I was then."

Greg felt his heart wrench at Nick's rare show of emotion. "I'm sorry," he said as he started to rub small circles on Nick's bare back. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah," Nick scoffed as he flinched away from Greg's touch and slid off the bed. "Just leave me alone."

He crossed the dark room in a matter of a few steps and opened the bedroom door just enough to slip out and then closed it behind him. Greg remained where he was, dumbfounded at what just happened. Nick had never, ever talked to him about his kidnapping. He had never talked to him about any of the horrible things that had happened to him as a CSI in Vegas, but Greg was okay with that because he knew it was hard for Nick to open up to someone like that. Plus, it meant that he didn't have to talk about his own demons that were still haunting him. But that didn't mean that he wanted to make anything worse for Nick. He started to feel sick to his stomach at the thought that he had caused the other man more pain or torment simply by being that close to him and touching his back. Greg lay back down and closed his eyes. He didn't know if he should go follow Nick and apologize to him or if he should just give him his space and let him work through what he had obviously been working through alone since the incident had happened. He didn't have to think about long; has suddenly as Nick had awoken and fled the bedroom, he had returned.

The door cracked open, casting light into the room for the short amount of time it took Nick to come back into the room. He closed it silently behind him and was so quiet himself that Greg didn't know if he had even come into the room or not. A few moments later, he felt the bed shift as Nick crawled back into bed beside him. The younger man was going to pretend to be asleep, but he knew Nick would know that there was no way that he had fallen asleep that quickly, and Greg's intuiting was confirmed when the Texan spoke.

"I'm sorry," he said, his accent thick and emphasizing his sincerity.

Greg opened his eyes to see that Nick was laying as close to him as possible, and their eyes immediately locked. "It's okay," Greg said. He tried to brush it off, but Nick knew better.

"No, it's not," he replied, shaking his head. "You were just trying to help, and I snapped at you for no reason. I've never woken up from a nightmare, or whatever the hell it is, with someone next to me before."

Nick's voice was weak, which was something that Greg had never experienced before. He had never seen the other man at such a vulnerable moment, and he knew that that was why Nick had snapped at him. He was scared to be that open and honest with someone, and Greg understood that. He wanted Nick to know that he could trust him, with anything, at any time.

"I'm not mad at you," Greg said as he laced his fingers through Nick's. "I know that you've been through a lot, with probably more stuff that I don't even know about. And that's fine. I don't expect you to break down and spill every little last thing that bothers you to me because that's not who you are. You're strong and tough and can handle things in your own way, and that's one of the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place. But I just want you to know that when there's something that you can't or don't want to handle on your own, you don't have to. You can trust me with this kind of stuff."

Nick squeezed Greg's hand gently and was thinking about how to respond when the younger man decided to continue. "I know our relationship hasn't been a run of the mill one where we talk about all of our problems and all that. We're both guys, who are extraordinarily stubborn, and we don't like showing emotion when we can help it. But after these last few months being with you, I feel like that's starting to change because we're more comfortable with each other and everything. I just want you to know that you can come to me, with anything, if you want to."

In lieu of a verbal response, Nick lifted his head off the pillow just enough so that he could lean over and kiss Greg sweetly. He used his free hand to pull Greg closed to him by his hip, keeping their bodies as close to one another as possible. They kissed slowly for a long time before Greg reluctantly pulled away so that Nick could reply, which he knew all too well that he wanted to.

"It's not that I don't trust you ya know," Nick said. "I'm honestly kind of embarrassed that it still bothers me. It happened so long ago, I should be over it by now. I hate that I haven't gotten over it yet because it makes me realize that I probably never will."

Greg propped himself up on his elbow so he was at Nick's sight level. "That's not necessarily a bad thing. I still have nightmares about the lab explosion every once in a while."

"Really?" Nick asked.

Greg nodded. "Of course. It's not that you're necessarily not over it, it doesn't make you weak. It doesn't control you every day. It happened to you and it's part of who you are, and it probably always will be."

"I know," Nick said nodding slightly. "I just wish it didn't scare me anymore. I could take the nightmares if when I woke up it would end immediately and I could go back to sleep, without being a dick to you," he added with a smile before he kissed Greg again. "You can trust me with anything that's bothering you too," he said against Greg's lips. "I know neither one of us like to sit around and talk about our feelings, but if it'll help you I'll do it. I'll do anything for you."

Greg kissed Nick again, this time more passionately. He ran his hands over Nick's strong back and arched up against him for more contact. "I've got something you can do for me," he said with a mischievous grin as he slid his hands down Nick's chest in search of his boxers, which he quickly found and promptly removed as his grin grew.

Before he had even realized it, Greg's own boxers were removed and just as the sensation of Nick's hot skin against his own started taking over his body, Nick decided to reverse their positions so Greg was now straddling Nick's hips, effectively adding to both of their arousal. Greg kissed Nick as hard as he could and received Nick grinding up against him as a reward. Greg had to pull away from Nick's lips and let out the low moan that we was unable to suppress when Nick wrapped his warm hand around both of their hardened lengths and began to stroke slowly. Greg was about to reverse their positions again in order to stop prolonging what he inevitably wanted to happen, but Nick seemed to have other plans. He put his hands on Greg's hips and held him in place as he looked up at him, dark eyes meeting dark eyes.

"I want you to..." Nick trailed off, his voice low and rushed due to his quick breathing, but his eyes said everything.

Greg was surprised at what Nick was communicating to him, but was excited nonetheless. It had gone as an unspoken agreement that Greg was 'the woman' in the relationship, at least sexually, because Nick had never had any experience like Greg had had. It wasn't said that it would never happen; it was wordlessly understood that when Nick was ready, he would let Greg know. Apparently, that time had come. Greg felt his heartbeat increase tenfold and every nerve in his body was screaming at him to cover Nick's body with his own and stop wasting time, but the rational part of his mind kicked in and dictated his actions.

"Are you sure?" Greg all but panted. He couldn't help but worry that the night's events were clouding Nick's judgment.

Nick swallowed hard, but nodded. "Yeah," he said as he sat up so he could kiss Greg again. He wrapped his arms around Greg's waist and pulled him tight so their chests were pressed flat against one another. They pulled apart and Nick rested his forehead against Greg's. "I trust you."

Nick laid back down, but kept his hands on Greg's waist. Greg put his hands on either side of Nick to leverage himself as he extended his legs back until his knees were against the inside of Nick's. He kissed the man lying underneath him in an attempt to calm his excitement so he could take his time and do this right, but that only proved to increase the anticipation. He put most of his weight on his left arm so he could run his right hand down Nick's chest and across his abs, slowing to a stop as he reached between Nick's legs.

"If you want me to stop, just tell me to stop," Greg said into Nick's ear. He could feel Nick's heart racing against his own chest and could feel his hot breath on his neck.

"Okay," Nick breathed, trying to relax as much as he could.

Greg smiled down at Nick reassuringly before kissing him as he slowly started preparing him for what was to come. He felt Nick relaxing underneath him and after a while felt confident that things could progress. He pulled his mouth from Nick's so he could look him in the eyes.

"Are you ready?" he asked, to which Nick could only nod.

Greg adjusted his position slightly before moving his hips forward in a swift but slow and gentle motion. Nick tensed at first and dug his short fingernails into Greg's back, but as he grew accustomed to the feeling he relaxed again and sighed in slight relief.

Greg took several deep breaths to keep himself under control. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Nick responded without hesitation as he moved his hands from Greg's back to his hips, encouraging him to move. Greg couldn't help but smile as he conformed to his boyfriend's wishes.

Neither one of them could ever remember being involved with something so sensual, passionate and loving all at the same time. It seemed like it was over far too quickly; it wasn't too long before they were both shaking slightly from their release, clinging to each other for support. When their breathing slowed, they kissed each other again to prolong the feeling that neither one of them wanted to go away.

"Are you okay?" Greg asked again. He moved his lips from Nick's and began kissing his jaw and neck slowly.

Nick nodded and wrapped his arms around Greg's shoulders, keeping him in place. "We should have done this sooner," he said before kissing Greg's damp hair.

Greg smiled against Nick's neck. "Better late than never I always say."


	6. Food For Thought

He hated that his hands still shook when he was nervous. That should have subsided as an affect by now; the lab explosion was nine years ago afterall. But despite the lapse of time, his hands still shook ever so slightly when he was nervous, anxious, or even excited. It had to be a special kind of excited though, pretty much the kind of excited that only Nick could cause. The excitement that came from the Texan sneaking up behind him, wrapping his strong arms around his waist and kissing his neck. Catching him off guard and startling him, just enough, to get those hands to shake. No one else ever seemed to noticed if they did shake, except Nick of course. He seemed to notice everything, which at times annoyed Greg, such as right now for instance.

"Are you nervous?" Nick asked.

Greg scoffed. "No, why would I be? It's not like I'm meeting my boyfriend's brother and sister or anything. His brother and sister, from Texas, the homophobic capital of the United States. His brother and sister that he just so happens to be extremely close with who just might hate me and-"

"Shut up Greg," Nick teased, trying to ease the other man's tension. "They're not going to hate you. They don't care that I'm gay, I told you that. They're fine with it and just want to meet you. Relax, would ya? Besides, Texas isn't the homophobic capital. A state can't be a capital, first of all, and secondly I think it's in Alabama anyway."

Greg glared at Nick, but had to look away because the other man's smirk was having its desired affect on the younger man by making him smile slightly himself. Nick slid his hand into Greg's and squeezed it reassuringly. Greg sighed and leaned back against the couch, trying to relax. He was glad that they were having this meeting at Nick's house, it gave him a sense of home field advantage. Even though Chase and Ashley had undoubtedly been to Nick's numerous times, he doubted they had spent the time he had, in the capacity that he had.

"Why are you so nervous?" Nick asked. His thick accent was soothing to Greg, even though he wasn't sure why. "It's not like you're a shy person by any stretch of the imagination."

Greg shrugged and looked down at his fingers intertwined with Nick's. "I want them to like me," he replied.

"They will," Nick said.

"How do you know?" Greg asked.

Nick shrugged like Greg had just done and smiled at him. "Because I like you."

Greg could no longer hold back his smile. "You're such a dork," he said, rolling his eyes. "At least tell me what to expect. I remember briefly meeting your mom and dad during the whole, uh, Walter Gordon thing, and they were intimidating enough. What are your brother and sister like?"

"Well," Nick said with a sigh, "Chase is going to try and act like he's not impressed. He's gonna be quiet, just kind of sit there and listen and figure things out without being too involved. He probably won't really talk to you much to see how you handle it. Ashley, on the other hand, is going to ask you a million questions until she's blue in the face. I think."

Greg's brow furrowed. "What do you mean you think?"

"I haven't exactly introduced my boyfriend to them before," Nick said with a laugh. "I'm basically combining how they've treated my other sisters' boyfriends and how they acted when they first met any of my girlfriends. Added to what I know about them after all these years, and that's really my best guess."

"Great," Greg said as he stood up from the couch, throwing his hands in the air to be extra dramatic. "You have no idea how this is going to go, which means it could end with me in the hospital."

"Relax," Nick said, standing up himself and putting his hands on Greg's shoulders. "Do you really think my brother would beat you up, or that I'd let him?"

Greg sighed heavily. "No, of course not," he mumbled. "I'm just really nervous, and I don't like it."

"Yeah," Nick said sarcastically, "I can see that."

"And you're not helping," Greg complained.

Nick dropped his hands to Greg's hips and pulled himself towards the younger man. He kissed him soundly before moving his mouth next to his ear. "Well, the only way I know how to calm you down right now, we unfortunately don't have time for," he said in a low whisper.

Greg shivered from Nick's breath on his neck. It took all that he had in him not to push Nick down onto the couch and climb on top of him. He instead pushed against Nick's chest, removing himself from the situation altogether before things went any further, which he so desperately wanted them too.

"Not cool dude," Greg said, pointing an accusing finger at the grinning Texan. "They're about to knock on that door any second and you go and do that...I hate you."

Nick laughed and shook his head slowly. "Yeah, I know. I hate you too." He took a step towards Greg, but the younger man kept distance between them.

"I feel like I need a cold shower now to calm down," Greg whined.

As if on cue, there was a spirited knock on the front door. Nick's smile grew even wider. "Sorry man, outta time."

Nick walked over to the door while Greg remained rooted to the spot, unsure of what he should do to greet Nick's siblings. He decided to just stand there and run the risk of looking like an idiot. He knew he was probably going to say something to accomplish that anyway, so he might as well minimize it as much as he could. He watched silently as Nick opened the door, only to be met with a strong hug from his sister. Nick had to hold on to the door with his right hand to prevent Ashley from knocking him off balance. The youngest Stokes laughed as his sister embraced him, and Greg couldn't help but smile at the adoration he could see emnating from the pair of siblings. Chase came into the picture seconds later and Greg was surprised at how much him and Nick looked alike. Greg had seen pictures of Chase before, but they didn't do their similarities justice. Chase had a large brown paper bag containing Chinese food in each arm, and just as he was about to comment on neither Nick or Ashley attempting to help him with the food, Greg jumped at the opportunity.

"Let me help you with that," he said cheerfully as he stepped forward and took a bag from Chase.

"Thank you," Chase replied, seemingly a little surprise. "Chase," he added, extending his hand to Greg.

Greg shifted the bag to his left arm and shook the other man's hand. "Greg," he said. He was proud of himself for returning the extremely firm handshake he received effortlessly.

"Ash I just saw you a few days ago," Nick said as he finally released himself from his sister and closed the door. "Every time I see you it's like it's been years."

"Sorry that I enjoy seeing you more than you enjoy seeing me," she replied. "I'm Ashley," she said, shaking Greg's hand before Nick could offer a comeback.

"It's nice to finally meet both of you," Greg said with a smile.

"Yeah, four months is a pretty long time," Chase quipped, directing the shot at Nick.

Nick just rolled his eyes at his older brother and snatched the bag of food from his brother's arm. He lead the way into the kitchen, where him and Greg put the bags of food on the table and opened them, placing all of the containers around the table before throwing the paper bags away and sitting down. Greg sat to Nick's right with Ashley directly across from him and Chase across from Nick. They all passed the food around and filled their plates before beginning to eat, when Ashley took it upon herself to start up the conversation.

"So Greg," she said, "Nick has told us very little about you. Basically all he's told us is that you work together and that you're dating."

Nick shrugged slightly and Greg just smiled. "What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Where are you from?" Ashley asked.

"San Gabriel, California," Greg replied.

"Sounds nice," Ashley mused.

Greg nodded. "It is, it's a fairly wealthy city. My mom's a professor and my dad is a corporate attorney, so I didn't exactly grow up ever wanting for anything."

"Neither did we," Ashley said before Chase could throw out any sort of comment that seemed to be building in his mind. "Where did you go to college?"

"Stanford," Greg replied.

"After he went to elementary and high school for the gifted," Nick added. "He graduated top of his class with a degree in chemistry. Before he was a CSI, he was a DNA analyst for our lab and was the best in the country. He helped solved cases that other labs wouldn't even be able to get started on."

Greg took a drink of his soda before shaking his head at Nick. "Now you want to talk about me?" he joked.

Nick shrugged again. "You weren't going to tell them that."

"So why did you want to go from the lab out into the field?" Chase inquired. "From what I know of Nick's experiences, it isn't exactly the safest job."

"Well, that was actually part of the reason," Greg responded. "I was getting bored in the lab; there's only so much you can do with DNA before it becomes the same old thing every day. I wanted to be able to learn more so that I could do more, and the only way to do that was to go out into the field. Plus, we have a rather annoying trace tech that works in our lab that I was going to end up killing if I had to be stuck in a lab with him for twelve hours a day."

The group fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes as they ate. When Nick was finished, he put his right hand on Greg's leg to steady the younger man's anxiously bouncing knee. He held it there firmly to put Greg at ease, letting him know that he was doing fine.

"So, did you play any sports at your gifted high school?" Chase asked.

Nick couldn't help but laugh, earning an eye roll from Greg. "No, not exactly. Unless you count chess and bowling, which you don't because those aren't real sports. I'm an only child, so my mom was extremely overprotective. Not that I was athletic anyway, but the fact that she never let me do anything involving contact didn't help. Besides, I'd rather read a book or something than play sports. I like to watch them and everything, playing them just isn't really my thing."

Chase nodded slightly. "So you really couldn't be more different than Nick," he said, more as a thought to himself than anything else.

Ashley scoffed. "You say that like it's a bad thing," she said teasingly, smiling at Nick. "Not everyone is born and bred to play sports like we were. Dad only ended up with two boys, so any one of us girls that could remotely play a sport was more than encouraged to do so."

"Yeah, that worked out so horribly for you, miss division one swimming scholarship," Nick said sarcastically.

"I'm not complaining," Ashley said, holding up her hands in defense. "I'm just saying that it doesn't make Greg a bad person that he didn't play sports. It's good to have a little diversity," she added.

Chase opened his mouth to say something, but Nick quickly interjected. "Don't," he pleaded more than said.

Chase couldn't help but smile, the first smile he'd exhibited since arriving at Nick's. The dinner effectively decreased any and all tension that had previously existed, and they were able to fall into a light conversation for almost twenty minutes. Chase was still fairly quiet as he watched his brother and Greg closely, noting everything he could. It wasn't too long before Ashley stood, gathering hers and Chase's dirty dishes.

"Let me help you with the dishes," she said to Nick, who was about to protest but was unable to.

"Yeah, Greg and I carried the food in, you clean the dishes," Chase agreed. "Greg and I will go into the living room and put the game on."

Nick knew what Ashley was doing; Chase wanted to talk to Greg one on one, as he always did with his sister's boyfriends, and it appeared that Greg was going to be no exception. Ashley gave him the opportunity to do that, even though she had taken a liking to Greg, she still wanted Chase to be able to develop his own analysis. He was hardly ever wrong about anyone, especially on first impressions. Greg rose from the table slowly, stealing a glance at Nick, who just smiled the way that he always does, putting Greg a little more at ease. As Nick gathered the rest of the dishes, Greg followed Chase into the living room, taking deep breaths to remain calm.

"He's cute," Ashley said when the other two men had left the kitchen.

Nick laughed slightly. "Yeah, I know."

"That's weird to hear you say," Ashley said as she turned the water on and grabbed a sponge. "Not in a bad way I don't mean, I just never thought you'd ever feel that way for a guy."

"Neither did I," Nick agreed. "There's just something about him."

"He understands you," Ashley said. "He has the same job as you, so when you have a tough case or whatever, he knows how it affects you and lets you deal with it how you need to. He's obviously worked with you long enough to know you better than other people would be able to from a relationship."

"How do you know all that?" Nick asked.

Ashley shrugged. "I was a psychology minor in college," she answered simply. "Besides, I can see the way you look at him. I'm not stupid. You've never looked at anyone that way, not even close. And he's so sweet and polite and easy going, like he's almost doing it on purpose just to be nice and suck up a little. Which is a good thing, because it means he cares about what we think, which means he cares about you. A lot."

"He didn't used to be so calm and mild-mannered," Nick said, drying the plate that Ashley handed him. "When he was a lab tech, he wore these crazy shirts and blasted music in the lab and was always so full on energy, he drank five cups of coffee a day. At least. He was always in a good mood no matter what, and he'd never just give you the results, he'd make a game out of it or use some stupid riddle just because he could," he said, unable to suppress his smile at the memory of Greg, the blonde tipped, spiky haired lab rat.

"So what changed all of that?"

Nick sighed. "Not being a lab rat anymore. A lot happened to him. When he was still in the lab, it exploded, and it almost killed him. Then he got out of the lab and a lot of his first scenes involved gun fire and chasing suspects and a lot of stressful situations. Then a few years ago, he was responding to a call by himself and there was a gang of kids beating up this tourist. He drove at them to break up the gang, but they attacked him and pulled him out of the car and beat the shit out of him. He was in the hospital for a while. In the right lighting, you can still see the bruises under his skin all over his face and body..." Nick trailed off, not wanting to think about that.

"That will definitely take its toll on a person," Ashley agreed sadly.

Nick nodded. "I should have told him a long time ago. He had to go through so much shit on his own because I was too scared to admit how I felt about him."

"He was never really alone," Ashley argued. "I know you, and I know you were looking out for him in every way you could. The things that happened to him weren't your fault. You're with him now, that has to count for that happened to him may have changed him, but you aren't the same as you were when you came here either. You've both grown and changed, but what's happened to you hasn't crushed either of you. And now that you're together, it's going to be a hell of a lot harder for anything to do that."

As Nick and Ashley continued their work on the dishes, Chase began his work on Greg.

"I want you to know that I don't have anything against you," Chase said, to which Greg just stared at him blankly. "I don't care that Nick's gay. I'll admit I'm still a little surprised, but hell, I was surprised when he up and moved to Vegas too. But Nick's my little brother, and no matter how old he is, I have to protect him. I've never had to do this with someone he's dated before though."

"Why not?" Greg asked.

"Because none of them ever had him like you do," Chase answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "He came to Ash and I and told us about you on his own accord. Everyone else, we've had to straight up ask him about or he wouldn't mention them because they never really meant anything to him. Nobody did, not until you. He's never looked at anyone like he looks at you or talked about anyone like you. Which is great, I couldn't be happier for him, but it also worries me."

Greg didn't know what to say, so he remained quiet, and Chase continued. "You're the only person who had the power to actually hurt him. He's dated plenty of women, and none of them ever hurt him because they never could. He never let them, even if he wanted to, which I doubt he did. But you can. I know he's not perfect, and I know he can hurt you too, but he's my brother."

Greg sighed slightly. "It scares me that I can hurt him because that's the very last thing I want to do. After all that's happened to him, all I want to do is make him happy. And to be honest with you, I don't know if I can. I'm going to try like hell and do everything I can, but he can do better than me. He can have anyone he wants, people would kill to be with someone like him. I just hope I can make him as happy as he deserves to be."

Chase nodded once after Greg had finished speaking. "I think you're going to do alright."


	7. Fly Until You Crash

Spoilers for the season 12 finale "Homecoming." Enjoy!

* * *

><p>They both sat there silently and watched him go. It wasn't until he rounded the corner and was out of sight that Sara stood to chase after him, but Greg stood just as fast, grabbing her arm and holding her in place. She turned to argue with him, but saw the look in his eyes and knew that he should be the one to run after him. One of them had to. They couldn't let him leave the lab because they both knew if he did, he wasn't coming back. Other times when Nick was upset, they both knew better than anyone to leave him alone for a while and let him blow off some steam. But there had been something different in his eyes as he had sat at that table and explained how he couldn't deal with the corruption anymore. The way his voice had been so flat affirmed what he had been saying with his feeling of defeat emphasized in his dark eyes.<p>

Greg rounded the same corner after Nick and bolted for the locker room, crossing the threshold of the door just as Nick was trying to exit. Greg expected him to be angry and try to forcibly move him out of the way so he could leave, but he didn't. He just sighed heavily and stood there, looking at Greg, waiting for him to speak.

"You're really going to make a decision like this in such an emotionally fractured state?" Greg asked.

Nick scoffed. "I'm always in an emotionally fractured state Greg, you know that better than anyone by now. I can't do this anymore."

"Because of McKeen?" Greg asked. "I know you hate the guy, I don't blame you there at all. But you can't just quit and let him win like that, that's what he wants. You quitting isn't going to change anything either. It's only going to make it all that much worse."

Nick just shook his head slowly. "I can't do this anymore Greg," he repeated.

He tried to walk past Greg, but the younger man stepped forward and remained in his way. Nick tried to walk right through him, but Greg's hands shot up and he pushed against Nick's chest, at first to keep him in place and then added force to push him backwards. Greg was just as surprised as Nick was at his actions, and the younger of the two took the opportunity of Nick's shock to move forward himself causing Nick to have to move back farther into the locker room.

"You can't quit," Greg said, his voice steadier than he had thought it would be. "This isn't over yet. You can't walk away from something this fucked up that isn't finished. Don't you care what happens?"

"No," Nick replied. "Because it won't make a difference. Things will be okay for a few months, maybe a few years, and then something else will happen and nothing that we did here will matter."

"How can you say that?" Greg asked. "You don't think anything you've done as a CSI has mattered? All of those people you put away, all the families you helped? Come on Nick you know better than that. If you really believe nothing we've done matters, then you don't think it matters that you caught McKeen at all."

"It doesn't!" Nick exclaimed. "He's still running everything, just like he was when he wasn't in jail. Nothing's changed there. He's still ruining people's lives from behind bars."

"So you would have rather him be free to do that after having killed Warrick?" Nick sighed in frustration, but didn't answer. "You can't bring him back Nick," Greg said softly.

"I know that," Nick replied flatly.

"All you can do is see this thing through. If anyone can figure all of this shit out and put a stop to it all, it's you. Not DB, or Finn, or Ecklie or the sheriff. None of them can change anything because they aren't crazy enough to think that they really can, but you are. You've always gone the extra mile even when everyone else is telling you to let it go. You never let it go, you never quit on anything."

Nick moved forward again, but Greg stood his ground. "Get out of the way Greg," he said, trying to remain calm.

"No," Greg replied. "I'm not letting you leave. This is insane. You can't just quit on us like that, on me."

"This isn't about you, or anyone else," Nick argued. "I'm not quitting on you, I'm quitting on the whole fucked up system because the only way to beat it is to join it. The only way to stop guys like McKeen is to become like McKeen. I came so close to doing that in the woods that day, and I'm terrified that if I stay involved in this that I'm going to just give in and kill everyone on the wrong side of this."

Greg shook his head. "You would never do that. If you were really like that, you would have killed McKeen that day, but you didn't. If you were really anything close to being anything like him, you would know it by now after everything you've been through here."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do," Greg responded. "You're nothing like that, you're the exact opposite of him. If you were anything like him, we wouldn't still be together. We would have never made it this far."

"What are you talking about?" Nick asked.

"Remember that we got into that fight about whether or not we were really in love? And you threw me off of you and I fell over the coffee table?" Nick nodded silently. "If you had the capability of being like McKeen, you would have beaten the shit out of me that day, or any other day we had gotten into a fight for that matter. But you didn't, you never have and you never would."

Nick somehow refrained from rolling his eyes. "I would never do anything to hurt you because I care about you. I love you. I don't care about McKeen or anyone associated with him, so there's nothing to stop me from killing him."

"Something stopped you that day you had your chance. There was a reason you didn't do it, and for that same reason you can't quit. Not now."

"I have to," Nick replied. "I can't do this anymore," he said for the third time.

Greg hadn't been this angry or frustrated in a long time, and he had never felt this way towards Nick before. He felt like he was on the edge of a cliff with this whole argument, and there was nothing for him to do now but to just jump off and see what would happen.

"Fine," Greg said, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. "Quit. Leave us here to try and stop all of this corruption without any of your help. Just give up because you don't feel like dealing with it anymore. That sure as hell is fair, don't you think? After everything you've been through, it all gets to this point and you just quit because it's the easy way out."

"If I wanted to take the easy way out, I would have just killed myself by now," Nick retorted. He didn't know how else to defend himself against Greg's attacks.

"You might as well have," Greg shot back, "because you won't be of any use to anyone now. You're going to quit when your team needs you most, and without this job, you'll just be a shell of who you used to be. You think things will get better? How the fuck are they going to get better Nick? You're not changing anything by quitting. All you're doing is ensuring that nothing will ever be able to be changed because you refuse to even try."

"I did try!" Nick yelled. "I tired harder than I ever have before. I tried to help Warrick, to keep him from spiraling out of control. But I couldn't. Then, when he was finally cleared, McKeen goes and fucking kills him. Then I figured it out, and we caught him, and tried to figure out just how deep it went, but couldn't. I've tried to fix everything, to help everyone I could, but I can't. I just can't, and continuing to try to do something that is impossible is insane and exhausting."

Greg glared at Nick. "Are you even listening to yourself?" he asked rhetorically. "It's like I'm talking to a completely different person. What happened with Warrick sucks man, I know hard it's been on you but you can't just give up. If you're willing to give up on your career that you've worked your whole life for, what else are you willing to just decide to give up on because it's too hard?"

"This doesn't have to affect us," Nick said, knowing where Greg was going with his questions. "I don't want to be a CSI anymore, but I still want to be with you. I always will, nothing can change that. Just because we won't be working together anymore doesn't mean-"

"Until you get sick of it and decide to run away," Greg interjected. Maybe it'll be fifteen years down the road, like with your job, or maybe it'll be in fifteen days when you want a completely different life in a completely different place and a completely different person. How is this not going to affect us?"

Nick swallowed hard. "Are you saying that if I quit, you're going to break up with me?"

"That's not what I said," Greg replied.

"But it's what you meant," Nick stated.

Greg shook his head. "No, it's not. I would never be able to break up with you. I could never just walk away from such a huge part of my life, no matter how hard it got or how insane that person was being."

"Why do you think this is so insane? You've been a CSI now for seven years. You've been beat up on the job, you know how dangerous and messed up it can get. Why do you find it so hard to believe I don't want to do this anymore?"

"Because I know you. This isn't you Nick."

"Then who is it?"

"I wish I knew," Greg replied. "So I could tell him what a selfish jackass he's being. If you figure it out, would you let me know? I hope it's before he convinces my boyfriend to walk out on me."

Nick felt his mouth go dry. "I'm not going to walk out on you. The only thing I like about Vegas is that you're here. The only thing I like about having been a CSI is that it's how I met you."

Greg sighed. "You're lying. There's so much more to it, you and I both know that. I just wish you could be honest with yourself, never mind me. That's apparently too much to ask. You're quitting because you're scared that you can't change anything, but you can. But you know what? It doesn't matter now because you made up your mind. It won't work if someone has to talk you into staying. If you don't want to be here, then you won't be, not mentally, which is what really counts. So quit. Leave, go wherever you want and do whatever you want because you don't give a shit about anything that's here anymore. I'm going to have a hell of a time trying to convince myself that you ever did."


	8. Can't Let It Go

Nick chased Greg out of the locker room and down the hall back towards the break room to continue their argument; he didn't care that they were in the lab and that everyone would be able to see and hear them. They needed to hash this out because Nick convinced himself that quitting was the right thing to do and his only option. He was starting to plan a whole big speech and lecture to deliver to Greg when he noticed the crowd of people in the break room. Nick's eyes focused past Greg, on them, and knew immediately that something was terribly wrong. DB had tears in his eyes as Finn clung to him, Sara was staring at the floor, and even Hodges and Brass were evidently choking back his emotions. Nick came to a stop outside the door where Greg had also ceased to move forward. Wordlessly, and without even looking at one another, both Nick and Greg crossed the threshold into the break room to be met with the heartbreaking events that had unfolded a few moments ago.

Ecklie was shot. DB's granddaughter, Katie, had been abducted by one of McKeen's guys. Finn had barely escaped an apparent attack by Moreno's newly corrupted partner. And everyone in the room knew that that was only the beginning. They all fell silent as they racked their brains with an idea of what to do, but nobody seemed to be able to wrap their heads around what was going on. Finally, the silence was broken by none other than Nick Stokes.

"I know how to get Katie back," he said suddenly.

Greg looked up, but saw DB before he saw Nick. He could see in his supervisor's eyes that he was going to go with whatever Nick said no matter what because all he cared about was getting his granddaughter home safe and sound, no matter the cost to Nick or anyone else.

"How?" DB inquired immediately.

"McKeen went after Ecklie for killing his son, your granddaughter because you pissed him off, and Finn because she pushed so hard on the case. McKeen hates me more than all of you combined, it's only a matter of time before he comes after me too."

"So what are you saying?" Brass asked, knowing all too well where Nick was going with this.

Looking directly at DB, knowing he was his captive audience, Nick continued. "All I have to do is go back to my house. I bet there's guys waiting for me there, or even in the parking garage. Have Archie rig up a tracker, something I can hide on me or something. When McKeen's guys take me, they'll probably take me to wherever they have Katie. Just hang back long enough for them to let their guard down, then come in."

"That's actually not half bad," DB said on his way out of the break room. He headed straight for Archie's lab, with Brass and Finn hot on his heels to try and slow him down and think about the situation rationally. Sara and Hodges looked at each other worriedly, then began bantering back and forth, trying to come up with other alternatives. Leaving Greg to deal with Nick.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked, staring daggers at his boyfriend.

Nick sighed heavily and looked at the floor, ignoring Greg's eyes. "Would you rather McKeen's guys grab me without a tracker and take me to god knows where without any chance of getting Katie, or me, back?" He looked up and met Greg's eyes before adding, "You know what? Don't answer that."

"McKeen isn't going to kidnap you Nick," Greg retorted. "He's going to kill you. He wants you dead. He's going to have you shot on sight, you know that."

Nick shook his head. "He'll have his guys try and kill Ecklie, Finn, basically anyone else, but not me. He has to do it himself because he's wanted to kill me since the day he met me. McKeen wants me dead, and he wants to be the one to kill me."

"So you're going to let him?" Greg asked. "Just walk into whatever trap he has set for you and go without a fight?"

"How else do you plan on getting Katie back?" Nick asked. "Right now, this is the only plan we have, so we have to go with it."

Greg scoffed. "You want McKeen to kill you so then you can really take the easy way out. You won't have to go through with quitting anymore, you can just lay down and die."

Sara and Hodges' conversation died out when the trace tech heard Greg speak of Nick quitting. He ignored Sara completely and turned his attention to the two other men in the room, who themselves had utterly forgotten that there was anyone else in the room with them in the first place.

"What do you want me to do, Greg? This will work. We can get Katie back, and I'll probably be fine too. We have a better chance of succeeding the sooner we do it, because then they'll assume we don't know about everything else that has happened and won't think that we worked up a plan. You didn't want me to give up, so here's my plan. Do you have a better one?"

Greg clenched his fists tight at his sides. "Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to love you?" If they hadn't had Hodges' undivided attention before, they sure did now. "You're trying to commit suicide because you're mad at the system and-"

"It's going to work," Nick interjected.

"No it won't!" Greg yelled. "How do you know that two dirty cops didn't let McKeen out of his transport car? How do you know he's not sitting on your couch right now waiting for you to walk in the door so he can shoot you in the head? It won't work Nick, it'll only get you killed, and maybe Katie too."

"What do you want me to do Greg?" Nick asked. "If you can tell me, I'll do it. I told you before and I'll tell you as many goddamn times as I have to for you to get it. I love you. I will do anything for you, to make you happy, to protect you."

Greg felt tears stinging his tired eyes. "Then don't let McKeen kill you!"

"I'm not letting anyone do anything," Nick replied, his voice becoming calmer as opposed to Greg's which was growing more and more upset. "This is what has to be done. You just told me that I'm the only one that can fix things because I'm the only one who's crazy enough to think that I can. I know that this can work. It has to work, it's our only option. We're running out of time."

"You want to use yourself as bait because maybe, just maybe, McKeen's guys will take you to where Katie is as opposed to killing you on the spot. Is that risk worth your life?"

"My life isn't worth much, Greg," Nick replied. The honesty in his voice and eyes was heartbreaking because it was evident he really believed what he was saying.

Greg was somehow able to speak through the lump in his throat. "I'm part of your life. So I'm not worth much, not to you, because you're willing to walk right into your own death. You're giving up more by doing this than by just quitting. You're giving up completely because there's a very slight chance that some good may come out of it. I wish I didn't love you. Truth be told, I've wished that so many goddamn times. It would be so much easier if I didn't love you, but unfortunately I do. But I can't just stand around and watch you self destruct. It's too much. So you know what? I hope he kills you. I hope McKeen's out there waiting for you, and I hope he shoots you. I hope he fucking kills you Nick."

And then Greg was gone. Nick didn't turn around to see where he was headed. It didn't matter. He wasn't going to chase after him, not when he had nothing to say back to him. So he stood there, rooted to the spot,waiting for Hodges to make some dumb joke about him being gay to try and break the tension. But Hodges didn't say a word. He stared at the floor, not willing to believe the dark turn that the night had taken.

"He didn't mean that," Sara said softly when she saw the tears fall from Nick's dark eyes.

Nick swallowed hard. "Yes, he did. But I don't blame him. If me being dead makes him happy, and saves that little girl, and fixes all of this, then fine. I don't care. I don't care about anything other than him, but I can't be what he needs, and we both know that. I just wish it had happened sooner so I wouldn't have had this much time to fuck him up this bad."

The Texan then turned and left the break room, heading for Archie's lab where he figured a decision would have been reached by now. He knew DB could convince them to go for his plan, especially if Archie could rig up a suitable tracker fast enough. He was trying to focus on thinking about saving Katie when his concentration was broken.

"He doesn't want you dead." The voice should have been Sara's, but it wasn't. It was Hodges', and the pure shock of the matter made Nick come to a stop and turn to confirm that it was the trace tech who had spoken. "He doesn't want you dead," he repeated when he had Nick's attention. "Nobody wants you dead, other than McKeen, and Greg's not McKeen."

"No shit," Nick spat. "But that doesn't mean that-"

"Will you listen to me? Please? Just this once. For once, just listen to me, because this could be the last thing I ever say to you, and I want it to count." Surprised by Hodges' heartfelt words, Nick shut up so he could continue. "He doesn't want you to die, he just wants the old you back. The one that wouldn't quit on him, or this team. The one that believed in what he did, almost to a fault, and the one who would stop at nothing to put guys like McKeen away forever and keep them there. He wants the one he loves back. And nobody that knows him or you can blame him. He's scared that he's going to lose you, and he thinks that you dying will make it easier than fighting to keep you alive, but he knows better because he loves you too much to want you to die. That's why he said that to you, to make you wake up and realize the severity of the situation."

Nick opened his mouth to reply, but Hodges kept right on talking. "Do you remember the last thing you said to him just now?" he asked. Nick didn't respond. "You didn't say 'I love you.' I can tell you that much. That should be the last thing you ever say to him, because it's true. If it weren't you wouldn't have said it so effortlessly with me standing right there watching. Don't let the last thing he says to you be that he hopes McKeen kills you, and don't let the last thing you say to him to be whatever the hell it is you said." Hodges sighed heavily, but was still not done. "And do me a favor, okay? Don't let the last conversation we have be about how much you and Greg love each other. That's just not fair, to me. And you owe me for all of those cases I solved for you man."

And then Hodges was gone too, leaving Nick standing in the hallway by himself, unsure of what to do about anything anymore.


	9. Give a Little Bit

Greg inwardly cursed himself over and over, for multiple reasons. The latest factor was that, per usual, Nick had been right. His crazy plan had actually worked. McKeen was threatened by the team and wanted to take them down, but he was emotionally invested in what was going to happen after his son was killed. He acted recklessly, and since he couldn't carry anything out himself, his guys dropped the ball several times. DB and Nick convinced Brass and Archie to agree to the plan because they were going to do it one way or the other, and it had a better success rate if the A/V tech and police captain were on their side. And they were right. Nick was taken from his house later that night while he was pretending to sleep and taken to a seedy motel off the strip where he was thrown into a room also holding Katie.

_The young girl was frightened by the appearance of another man she did not know and could only assume that he was another bad guy. It wasn't until the door slammed shut behind the guy that threw the new man in did he speak softly to her._

_"Katie, my name is Nick," he said quietly so that only she could hear him. "I work with your grandfather."_

_Katie shook her head slowly. "I don't believe you," she said as she sat up against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest._

_Nick couldn't help but smile. "He told me you were a smart kid. He also told me to tell you that as soon as we get you out of here, he's taking you to this new ice cream place that just opened up. It has sixty-four flavors, and he wants to bet that you won't be able to decide which one you want."_

_"What does he look like?" Katie asked. "My grandfather."_

_"He has white hair and glasses," Nick replied, "and he also told me to tell you he's going to start wearing his pajamas inside out too because you do that."_

_Katie finally smiled. "Okay," she said softly, becoming a little less afraid by making a new friend. "Why are you here?"_

_Nick shook his head slowly. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that we're going to get you out of here real soon, okay? But you have to trust me. You have to do what I tell you to, and everything is going to be okay. Your grandfather and mom are on their way right now with some cops that I work with, and they're going to take you home."_

_Katie nodded slightly. "Okay. But what about those guys out there? They have guns and they told me that if I make any noise or anything that they'll come back in here and shut me up."_

_"Did they hurt you?" Nick asked hesitantly, not really wanting to know the answer._

_"No," Katie replied, shaking her head. "I was too scared to say or do anything so I just stayed still and they put me in here and haven't come back until they brought you in."_

_"Alright," Nick said, smiling at her slightly. "We just have to sit tight for a little while longer, and then it'll all be over."_

_They sat together in Katie's corner of the room, not talking much. After a while they were sitting in silence as Nick listened intensely for any sign of movement or commotion outside. After what felt like an hour to him, he hadn't heard anything, and he began to worry. But he had to remain stoic or Katie would panic, and he didn't want to scare her any more than she already was. Just when he was about to become scared himself, he heard the sirens outside and the front door down the hall be burst through, and that was his signal._

_Two minutes after he heard the siren, the door to their room flew open and two men came in with guns pointed right at him. Nick stood slowly, but kept his hands down by his side. He heard gunfire down the hall and the distinct voice of Brass yelling. His voice was getting closer and closer, telling Nick he was on his way to his aid._

_"Where's the girl?" the guy on the right barked at Nick._

_Nick shrugged. "What girl?"_

_The guy on the left was called back out into the hallway to help his fellow hostage takers, leaving just Nick and the guy with the gun pointed at his head. "Don't fuck around Stokes," he spat. "Where is she? Tell me before I kill you and find her anyway."_

_Nick's eyes darted from the gun to the bed to his right quickly, but it was just obvious enough for the man to notice where he looked. The guy fell forward onto his knees and leaned forward to look under the bed, but he didn't get that far. Nick stepped forward and kicked the metal frame of the bed as hard as he could, sending it forward into the man's skull, knocking him backwards and causing him to drop his gun. Nick scrambled over the bed and dropped to the floor, reaching for the gun, but was hit in the back of the head by something hard. He fell flat against the floor before he was able to turn over just in time to stop the man from stabbing him in the chest with the knife he had produced. Nick was stunned from the blow to the back of his head, which made it easier for the other man to wrestle him up to his feet and finally maneuver himself behind Nick, holding the blade to his neck._

_"Where is the fucking girl?" he asked for the third time._

_"Your guess is as good as mine," Nick replied._

_Suddenly Brass and DB appeared in the doorway, guns drawn. All gunfire from the hallway had stopped and was replaced by cops yelling orders at each other to apprehend the suspects. Upon seeing Nick being held captive with a knife to his neck, DB slowly lowered his gun, but Brass held his steady and trained on the small target of the man behind Nick._

_"Where's Katie?" DB asked, scanning the room for his granddaughter._

_The door to the room slowly began to close, seemingly on its own. It stopped when it was hallway shut, and Katie slowly stepped out from behind the door. She stood frozen to the spot when she saw the man holding the knife on Nick, and was unable to look away until she felt her grandfather's arms around her. It was only then that she closed her eyes and buried her face against DB's neck as he picked her up, holding her tightly._

_"Just get her out of here DB," Nick said._

_"Nobody's going anywhere," the man with the knife said, as he added pressure to Nick's neck._

_Brass kept his gun trained on the man with the knife. "Your surrounded. All your buddies are in cruisers, we're just waiting on you. Put the knife down, and you can walk out of here rather than being carried out in a body bag."_

_"My instructions were to hold the girl and Stokes until we could move them to where McKeen could meet us. I may not have the girl, but he'll get over that. He wants Stokes more, he's getting him."_

_"Guys," Nick said, getting Brass and DB's attention off of his assailant. "Just get her out of here. This guy has a knife, not a gun. He can't fight you off. Just get Katie out of here and worry about him later."_

_"I don't want to leave without Nick," Katie said as she lifted her head off of DB's shoulder. But DB didn't listen to her. He quickly took her out of the room, leaving Brass and Nick to deal with the man with the knife._

_The knife was being held to Nick's neck with such force that it blood was now flowing from the cut it created, running down Nick's neck and staining the front of his shirt. When he swallowed, the knife dug deeper and caused more pain._

_"Are you willing to die for Jeffrey McKeen?" Brass asked. "Because you're about to. I'll shoot you right here, right now, if you don't put that knife down and let him go."_

_The man made his decision when three more cops came into the room with their guns drawn. His odds suddenly went way down, so he dropped the knife to the floor and shoved Nick forward before the cops converged on him, throwing him to the ground._

So Nick and Katie escaped with only minor injuries. Katie had a bruise on her arm from where the door hit her when she was hiding behind it, but a few bowls of ice cream and a movie healed everything for her. Nick ended up needing a few stitches to close the wound on his neck and also had a concussion from the blow to the head, but other than that they were both fine. They caught Ecklie's shooter and were in the process of interrogating Moreno's partner and everyone else they had apprehended so far that night. Ecklie was going to be fine, and it was looking like they were actually going to be able to break down McKeen's empire.

After being reamed out by the sheriff for acting so stupidly and recklessly without consulting her, DB sent him home to rest after thanking him multiple times for saving Katie. He smiled tiredly as he left the conference room, making his way through the lab to the exit so that he purposely walked by Hodges' lab. He stuck his head in through the door and waited for the tech to look up from the microscope at him.

"I took your advice," Nick said, eliciting a smile from Hodges. "As much as I hate to admit it, you were right. Thanks man."

* * *

><p>Nick was honestly surprised to see Greg's car in his driveway when he finally got back to his house. They didn't live together, not technically, but Greg had spent basically every day and every night at Nick's since they had gotten together. It was closer to the lab and bigger than Greg's apartment, so it just made sense. But after their fight the other night and everything that had happened with the McKeen case, Nick had assumed the ex lab-rat wouldn't want to be anywhere near him for the time being.<p>

Greg was in the kitchen when Nick walked into the house. He had just finished doing the dishes, which told Nick he had been thinking. Greg was a fairly disorganized and messy person, so when he did actually clean something, it was because he had something on his mind and wanted to distract himself. Cleaning was just a way for Greg to think without having to think about thinking. Nick closed the door softly behind him before slowly walking towards the kitchen, stopping at the entrance so he was half in the living room and half in the kitchen.

"I'm glad you and Katie are okay," Greg said quietly as he turned the water off and wiped his hands on his jeans. He didn't turn around.

Nick stared at the back of Greg's head. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice steadier than he thought it would be.

Greg placed both of his hands on the counter in front of him and leaned all of his weight forward. "You didn't do anything wrong," he replied. "You did what you had to do, as always. You saved a little girl and probably caught all of the bad guys associated with McKeen."

"I hurt you," Nick retorted. "Nothing I could have done right could have outweighed that. That was never my intention."

"It's never your intention," Greg said, "but it still doesn't stop you half the time." He turned slowly to finally look at Nick.

Nick nodded once. "So I guess I'm sorry that you didn't get your wish. I'm sorry I didn't die."

Greg had to make a point not to stare at the bandage on Nick's neck and instead focus on the other man's eyes. "You really are insane now," he responded. "If you honestly think that I wanted you to die, then that proves you're insane."

"How does that prove anything?" Nick asked. "You're the one that said it. Why would you say it if it wasn't true? I could see it in your eyes that you meant it. I'm not saying I blame you. I don't blame you at all. I just wish there was something I could do to make you happy for once."

Greg sighed heavily. "You do make me happy Nick, by being alive. If you died, I honestly don't think I could handle it. I shouldn't have said anything to the contrary because it's simply not true. I was just scared I was going to lose you and thought that if I kept fighting with you, you wouldn't do anything stupid. You risked your life to save a little girl that you had never even met."

"Just because I didn't know her doesn't mean that her life is more valuable than mine or that she deserved to die," Nick replied, shrugging slightly.

Greg couldn't keep the small smile from spreading across his face, no matter how much he wanted to. "And that's exactly why you can't quit. Because no one else was willing to do what you did. No one ever goes as far as you do for people they don't even know, but you do it because it's the right thing to do."

"I don't want to talk about any of that," Nick replied. "I want to talk about us."

"What is there to talk about?" Greg asked.

Nick felt his heart drop down into his stomach. He thought that what Greg meant by that was that there was no "us" to talk about. He thought that Greg was going to leave him because he wanted to quit. He didn't even know if he was actually going to quit; he had made that decision in the heat of the moment without ever really considering what quitting his job would entail. But he didn't care about that at the moment. All he wanted to do was ensure that he still had Greg, because if he had him then nothing else would really matter.

"I don't know what you want me to say Nick," Greg said when Nick just stood there silently. "I'm sorry for what I said to you, I really am. I sat in Brass' office the whole time you were gone, listening to the scanner to make sure that you were going to be okay. I was terrified that I was never going to see you again. I hate that feeling, so much, and I have it all the time because of our job, but I don't want that to change if it means changing you. Without this job, you simply won't be the Nick I fell in love with. We both know that."

Nick shook his head slowly. "Who am I going to be then?"

"I don't know," Greg replied. "But I guess we're going to find out."

"I don't know if I'm quitting or not yet," Nick said, still shaking his head. "I can't think about any of that right now because I'm too fucking scared that I'm about to lose you. I don't want to lose you. I've lost everyone else, and that's fine, because I still have you. I can't lose you too."

"I didn't go anywhere," Greg said. "I'm still here. I couldn't leave even if I wanted to, which I don't. Whatever happens, happens. It doesn't matter as long as I'm with you. As hard as it is, and as crazy as you are, I'm just as crazy for loving you I guess. And that makes you even crazier for loving me. So there's no place I'd rather be."


End file.
